Israeli Tank Fires on Israeli Troops Dressed as Aid Workers
Polly Tickle In a troubling reflection of ongoing conflict complexities, reports have emerged of an Israeli tank that mistakenly fired…
Ukraine Resorts to Using Wooden Rifles and Smashed Binoculars in New Ground Defense Strategy
In a response laced with as much irony as innovation, Ukraine has unveiled its latest ground defense strategy…
White House Installs Revolving Door to Accommodate Rapid Staff Turnover
In a tongue-in-cheek response to the unusually high rate of staff turnover, the White House has reportedly installed…
Israel Rejects Hostage Release Deal, Prefers Military Action Over Peace
In a recent and highly controversial move, the Israeli government has opted to reject a promising hostage release…
U.S. Says Weapons in Israel Were ‘Only Sort of’ Used Illegally
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, the United States has declared that while its weapons sold to…
British Airways to Replace Boarding Passes with Facial Recognition Tattoos
Chip Byteley British Airways is taking a futuristic and slightly unsettling approach to streamlining the boarding process. In a trial…
Has the USA Accidentally Creates Time Warp, Briefly Reverting to Extreme 1950s Politic Trends? This Scientist Thinks So
In a theory straight out of a sci-fi B-movie, an eccentric scientist claims the United States is experiencing…
Area Dad Achieves Peak Performance by Correctly Grilling Entire Pack of Hot Dogs on First Try
In a feat of backyard brilliance that sent shockwaves through the neighborhood, local dad, Tom Weber, cemented his…
Microsoft to Insert Ads into Your Powerpoint Presentations
In what could be hailed as the most innovative disruption to office productivity since the invention of the…
Greg Abbott Announces Support for Terrorism
AUSTIN, Texas – In a surprising and controversial development, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has garnered widespread attention with…
USA & Israel Celebrate “Freedom of Press Day” by Arresting Journalists and Shutting Down News Outlets
In a performance worthy of a standing ovation from George Orwell himself, today marked the nationwide spectacle of…
Biden So Colorblind, He Fails to See His Own Red Lines
In an astonishing display of diplomatic colorblindness, President Joe Biden has managed to completely overlook his administration’s previously…
Tokyo Zoo to Start Animal Borrowing Program for Pet-Less Homes
Get ready for Tokyo’s newest, cuddliest delivery service! In a move that’s both innovative and incredibly heartwarming, the…
“My Smart Home Hates Me”: When A.I. Goes Rogue and Your Toaster Judges You
When your house knows more about your preferences than you do, we’ve stumbled upon an inconvenient truth: artificial…
Tinder Dating Algorithms To Match Users Based on Mutual Trauma
Tinder just got a whole lot more emotionally complex. In a move that’s either disturbingly brilliant or a…
PGA Introduces New “Whine Meter” to Gauge Fan Tolerance During Rain Delays
In a move that can only be described as a direct response to every golf fan’s irritated mutterings,…
Internet Pop Ups Find New Life in Elon Musk’s Neuralink
In an unexpected twist of technological evolution, the once dreaded internet pop-up ads have found a new arena:…
“I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won:” Local Man Wages Epic Battle Against Wildflowers
In a tale that speaks of the futility of taming nature, a local man, known for his meticulously…